New Classics: SILVER BULLET

Do you know what happens when you type Martha Schumacher into the search engine of IMDB.COM? I will tell ya. You are directed to Martha De Laurentiis. A VERY interesting twist to the whole production of SILVER BULLET. But more on that later...

Based on the novella, Cycle of The Werewolf" by famed horror writer, Stephen King, SILVER BULLET bites off just the right amount it can chew. King is so vivid with detail, but is able to let your imagination run wild at the same time, so movie projects of his work are preposterous in the hands of a ill fitted director. His best films like THE SHINING and CARRIE are handled with such originality that they sort of become their own thing. His worst, LAWNMOWER MAN and GRAVEYARD SHIFT, seem to be so off mark that they are just about unwatchable. Luckily, SILVER BULLET fell into the hands of Daniel Attias. It would be his only feature film, though he would go on to directed critically acclaimed TV series. Also, King penned the screenplay and it's fun to see him expand the characters from a fairly short book for him. And of note, the werewolf was created by legendary special effects person, Carlo Rambaldi. Yeah, that guy who created E.T.! So, the design is spot on. Surprisingly, the film failed to connect with audiences and it was resigned to video store fodder. Now, over 25 years later, SILVER BULLET has been a New Classic.



Of course, the biggest draw to SILVER BULLET is Corey Haim. He is oozing with charm and wit. He sports a killer smile, a kicking hair cut and an acting range you wouldn't expect from someone his age. Sadly, it would only be a couple of years after SILVER BULLET that he would become just another Hollywood Potter and ultimately give his life to a world that continued to spiral out of control. We are very fortunate to have a handful of great films from him, because when he was on he was ON! Alright now.

We start with a female voice-over telling us about the night the drunk train operator got beheaded in 1976. Any movie that starts off with a beheading is fine with me. The sheriff finds a BIG footprint and hears howls all around, but the death is ruled an accident. Flash forward to present day and it the day of the big parade/festival in Tarker's Mill, Maine. Terry O'Quinn is the sheriff and Corey Haim is immediately called a "booger" and told he is a cross to bear by his older sister. Typical. She helps her little brother out of the car and into his wheelchair. Yes, Haim is in a wheelchair the whole movie. And he sells it. I really only can compare him to the kid in Mac And Me and he is still pretty good. He goes wheeling off in the dirt and the sister storms off to flirt with townies that are holding snakes. Little bro pulls a prank that leaves her covered in mud and with ripped pantyhose. He thought it would be funny. It was not. That night the moon lights up the sky in all of it's fullness....

The next day, a suicidal knocked up town tramp is found mangled. Everyone seems on edge, but not overly worried. Corey shows how he can get out of his chair and onto his GREMLINS chair/stair lift all by himself and Mom has to deal with drunk uncle played by the great Gary Busey. He ab libs everything, but you know what? He is kinda funny. That night the abusive dad of the girl Corey has a crush on gets it! She is removed by social services and we never get to learn if her southern accent was real or not, since sometimes she had it sometimes she didn't. A crazy person states, "The face of the beast always becomes known." He then follows that up with, "Time of the beast always passes." How poetic.

We get treated to a great "THERE'S A MANIAC ON THE LOOSE! STAY INSIDE!" montage. Lots of little old ladies scooting a little faster than normal and store fronts turning their OPEN sign to CLOSE even though sales of shotguns and caskets have skyrocketed. As usual, you can't keep the bar crowd home. When Corey's best friend is murdered while flying his THE HOWLING kite, the town turns on the sheriff and forms a mob. The embark on one of the scariest manhunts in a werewolf movie. One guy gets himself into some bear trap grossness and another makes lemonade in his pants, according to one of the locals. Most of the cast has to move around through waist deep fog while something stalks them under the fog!! SCARY!!!

The time frame of the movie doesn't really seem to make any sense. I think it is suppose to be every full moon, so that would be every month, but in Tarker's Mill, Maine it seems the moon stays full for weeks on end. But you don't really care. All the good stuff happens during the full moon anyway. Hot preacher man has to host a triple casket funeral and then the entire church turns into werewolves. Even the organ player turns and pounds on the organ keys. With all the murders and funeral, the town decides to cancel the Gala Fair and Fireworks. Townspeople are packing up their shit and getting the F out of dodge, but Corey's parents seems to consider the rash of murders and that two of them were closely related to the son a non concern. Since the fair got cancelled they decide to have their own party, BBQ style! Drunk uncle shows up with a present for Corey and this is the point when the movie becomes unbelievably inspiring. Corey gets a super up ass kicker with it's own name. They call it SILVER BULLET!



For the rest of the movie we get shots of Corey in the Silver Bullet being pulled by a truck or a stunt driver doing some amazing road work, but Corey does pop a wheelie. It seemed off script and he seemed to be rather proud of himself when he did it. It was pretty impressive, I must say. Late one night, he is out in the woods shooting fireworks and gets greeted by a werewolf, being the GIT IT BOY that he is, he immediately launches a firecracker into the wolf's eye and sends him packing. The next day he enlist his sister to go nose around the town looking for one eyed citizens. Since most people have two eyes it shouldn't be hard to figure out. We get this outstanding sequence of older sis pretending to collect bottles for the church charity, but she is really checking up on shit. She doesn't really believe her little brother, but he was so passionate in his explanation that she must react. Like a good sister with two working legs should. Don't be a hag, just go see what's up. When she finally discovers the one town folk missing an eye, she knows that little bro is on to something....


Then it is one of the best brother/sister team up as they enlist drunk uncle to help them get rid of the werewolf. Corey pulls off his necklace and places it in Gary Busey's hand and says, "I want you to turn this into a silver bullet." AND HE AGREES!! I almost wept! Then sister (sporting a kicking sideways ponytail) pulls hers off too and tells him to do the same thing. We get a weird long in the tooth montage of the bullets being made. I like watching how things are made so it is somewhat interesting, then we get to the full blown throw down between Team Silver Bullet and Team Full Moon. It's a great battle and a slam bang finale to a great film. I love that the parents leave the kids for the weekend, even though the murders are still happening and Corey has been attacked twice. The car is still driving down the road, when the werewolf shows up and cuts the lights. Drunk Uncle gets tossed and the silver bullet goes flying across in the room and into the heating duct!!! But GIT IT BOY doesn't let things like that stop him. The ending is so wonderful it makes me tear up. I love a good cry in a werewolf movie.

Also, sister is played by Megan Follows who later would be land a dream role that would make her a star. So, you get to see Anne Of Green Gables battle a werewolf! Don't back Anne Of Green Gables in a corner, she will take your ass DOWN!
THAT IS MOVIE MAGIC!!!!




*****OF NOTE*******
As stated before Martha Schumacher, producer of SILVER BULLET and wife to one Joel Schumacher, dumped said Schumacher and married the other producer on the film Dino De Laurentiis. Power move.

HIGH OCTANE: SAFARI 3000

The late seventies to mid eighties car chase flicks was catapulted from on the fly Roger Corman movies to the mainstream all because of Burt Reynolds. His Smokey and The Bandit parts one and two and Cannonball Run inspired many a filmmaker to make their own road hog star vehicles. One of the strangest is set on a distant continent where animals and humans must share the land and you never know what sort of exotic location you will run across. Billed as a high adventure and a side splitting comedy, SAFARI 3000 boils down to just one singular question. Can one monkey stop the whole show?


The plot in question is fairly simple. Super simple. a real Git It Girl reporter from Playboy (she writes the words, doesn't do the pictures mind you) decides to do a story on the African International Rally in, yes, Africa. Her job is on the line, because she got arrested for solicitation when she was doing a piece of 'hos. Her boss tosses some cash at her and she is OFF to the Motherland. There she meets a one time Hollywood stuntman, now insane person, who races cars for no good reason and is played by David Carradine. He had starred in over 200 movies before his untimely death in 2009. His films ranged from high caliber character studies to stuff like this. He seems to basically be cashing a check and having a wonderful African vacation. The real star of the movie is Stockard Channing. Naturally, all you can see is Rizzo. And the film is kinda like what you would think Rizzo would get herself into. She cleans up her act a little, goes to jr. college and got an education and landed a sweet job at Playboy as a reporter. Then she gets to go on misadventures around the world. But at lunch she always takes a break and kicks someone off the seats and says, "Sounds like a drag."


Rizzo lands in the middle of Africa and calls her contact. On the other line, her friend is suddenly surounded by guys with machetes and he get his arm cut off. The phone goes dead and Rizzo calmly states, "Operator, I think my party's been cut off!" HAHA!!! THESE ARE THE JOKES!! The good thing is is you can see every single joke coming a mile away, so you are prepared. She runs into Carradine and they do some meet cute stuff and yell at each other to develop chemistry, but then there is a cobra in the car eginine and everyone freaks out. They have to get a new car for the race because the old falls apart. They close the door, walk away and you know it is going to happen. As soon as they are gone, it crumbles. HA!

The great African International Rally is a 3 day course and only 20 percent of all the contestants will finish. The teams are as follows:
The French Guys- They drink wine and eat cheese and talk in a CRAZEE french accent.
The Chinese Guys- They take a ton of photos and talk in a CRAZEE chinese accent. They even have a chinese musical score to go with them when they are on the screen.
Valley Guys- Surfer dudes with a far out vocab and bleach blonde hair.
The Bar Girls- Two best friends who have left their husbands behind.
The Gay Guys- Quote "I'm here for the men!"
The Jocks- I got confused and The Jocks MIGHT be the Valley Guys.
UK Guys- Drink tea and talk in a CRAZEE english accent.
The Bad Guys- Christopher Lee( in Darth Vader drag!) and a henchman.

S3000 is a big budget version of WACKY RACES, but nothing really wacky happens and there really doesn't seem to be a race going on. Carradine and Rizzo seem to have a RENT A COP romance, which is not a good thing, but she confesses to a raunchy past which is ALWAYS a good thing. They are stopped by a Zulu tribe (all with HOT bodies) and then it happens. The movie goes from "on the verge of turning off" straight into the Twilight Zone. And it all is because of one little monkey. Not only does including the monkey become one of the worst things SAFARI 3000 could have done, but it is done without anyone's consent. For the most part, Team Rizzo has a tight grip on the movie. Stockard Channing is trying really hard to bust into leading lady status and she gives it her all in SAFARI 3000, but the powers that be just won't give her a break. All the interior car shots of Carradine and Channing are just them in a car being pulled by a truck. Sometimes it goes at a snails pace, sometimes it goes a little too fast for a car packed with star power. In one telling scene, a monkey jumps into the car. Carradine turns to Rizzo, in what seems to be character, and states, "Toss it out the window!" The car is zooming at this point. Rizzo looks out the window and back at Carradine. She says, "I am not tossing a monkey out of a moving car!" When he agrues, she breaks character and looks directly at the camera, I am assuming thinking she is looking at the director and repeats, "I am not tossing a monkey out of a moving car!" She clutches the squirming monkey to her chest and stares straight ahead. From this point on, the movie becomes a Herzog film. All the actors are tortured and everyone seems worse for wear.

All the supporting cast is dumped. The Bar Girls go all Thelma And Louise on us, the UK guys crash, The Chinese guys get stuck in the water and the others, who knows. We don't see them again. Only Team Rizzo and The Bad Guys are left. At a pit stop, Team Rizzo finds out that they have to share a room and monkeys are not allowed in the rooms. Channing, still clutching the monkey tightly as it tries to squirm away, exclaims, "He is terribly well behaved" and the monkey promptly slaps her across the face and claws at her hair. Proving that he has got to be the worst prop EVER in a movie. She just puts him in her suitcase and sneaks him in. And Christopher Lee sends a lot of time sitting down. He refuses to have a monkey.



45 minutes in and naturally, Team Rizzo fall in love and they have some hot mud play in the jungles of Africa while Channing wears white shorts. Then they full on do it in a hot spring! It seems like the movie has been on for at least three hours now. It is turning into some Gone With The Wind shit. They run into the last king of scotland, but they get away and then we spend a good chunk of the movie watching Stockard Channing take photos. Very exciting. If there is a race going on, I have no idea where they are in the leg of it. It's suppose to be a three dayer, but I swear it has been night at least five or six times. I could be wrong. The great thing about all this driving around and Rizzo taking photos is that the monkey is firmly planted on her head. And she just lets it sit there. She cannot control it and it seems to think Rizzo is it's mamma. At one point, she ties a piece of rope around the monkeys waist and Carradine gives her some shit for it. Totally real stuff not scripted. They drive a little more and then Carradine stops the car for some elephants and steals a kiss. As they passioniately make out, you see the monkey skirt out the window. As the car pulls away, she realizes the monkey is gone and seems to panic just a little. Then pulls the rope and the monkey back in the car. She looks directly at Carradine and says, "Now aren't you glad I tied a piece of rope around him?!" The monkey immediately plants himself on her head and she smiles.

Nothing happens for a long time and I kinda left my body for a little while. Team Rizzo crash into a river, but their car floats. They stand on top of the car. The monkey stands on Channing's head. They have a little bit of a race with The Bad Guys and I don't want to spoil the ending, but they win.

So in a nutshell, this movie will make you crazy. There is something to it that makes you want to finish it, but you don't have to worry about a sequel or such. I am assuming that the movie is called SAFARI 3000, because that sounds more exciting than The African International Rally, but you know what happens when you assume. You make make a monkey out of you and me.


I hope that one day I get to meet Stockard Channing. I am going to ask her about this monkey business.

THRILLS: FAKE-OUT aka NEVADA HEAT

There can be only one. She stirred up quite a controversy when she snatched herself a Golden Globe as best new face on the the Hollywood scene in the mid-seventies. Little did we know that the Golden Globes was just a promotional junket for everything. She has bared it all in the trashiest of magazines. She married a billionaire and will be rich for the rest of her life. She climbed out of Z Lister status to full fledged Hollywood wife and gave a big "F U" to anyone who tried to throw shade. She sings (sorta), she dances (sorta), she acts (sorta), but there is no mistaking her. She is the great Miss Pia Zadora.

With just a handful of films in her repertoire, she proved that it is quality over quantity that will win out in the end. Luckily, her movies are so re-watchable that each time you watch one of her classics, you discover a little gem of a scene or a bit of dialogue that you missed before. One of her greatest films is FAKE OUT aka NEVADA HEAT.


The film starts of on a high note. Pia plays Bobbie Warren, but for the sake of all that is Zadora, we will just refer to her as Pia. She is a Vegas showgirl that has hit the big time. Her mob BF has gotten her a sweet gig as the opening act of some long dead comedian, but it really is her show. She launches into a full on song and dance number entitled "THOSE EYES". With some of the most amazing opening credits to grace a Zadora movie, you are instantly intrigued. She dances...well...she is moving. It is Pia dancing. Her outfit is a dream. Her entire wardrobe is designed by Bob Mackie and it is Mackie to the hilt! She does a "FAKE OUT" ending that you won't see coming and rushes into the handcuffs of the long arm of the law, played by Telly Savalas. Telly ain't in the mood.

So now she is in prison and the film turns from light hearted musical to trashy women's prison drama. Pia refuses to testify against her mob BF and spends most of her jail time decorating her cell and leading an aerobics class for the female criminals. The class turns into a very sexy sequence as the girls really get into their pelvis thrust and one woman cries, "HOT DAMN! Where's my man?" Another woman moans, "I wish I was wearing tighter underwear!" But the head of the bad girls, named WOOLEY is out for Pia and she interrupts the class with her bullying. Class ends and it's off the the showers. Everyone shows their tits and looks terrible. Pia gets raped by three women and has a massive freak out and spills everything she knows.

Now in the custody of Savalas and the offspring of Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball, all she wants is a hot bath (which somehow is a major plot point throughout the film) and she has completely recovered from her gang rape. Now it turns from light hearted musical to prison drama to now a crime comedy. They decide the best place to hide her until she can testify is in the heart of Vegas at the RIVERA! Pia knows that she must keep a low profile, but that doesn't stop her from saying "HI!" to everyone she sees in the casino and she really wants to play Keno! She claims lady luck is on her side, but she has to bum two dollars off of Desilu to play. She immediately loses.

She finally gets to her room, with Desilu in the adjoining one. There is some rom-com "cute" stuff, but then a sniper shoots through the window and almost kills them both. The two hit men have been hired by Pia's BF to take her out and they are zany! Not funny zany, just zany. So Pia takes a hot bath and Telly roams around the casino, barking at women and slapping their asses. Pia wraps herself in a Bob Mackie designed towel and wants to go shopping because all of her clothes smell like prison. Don't you just hate that! LOW PROFILE!

At least Pia and Desilu have chemistry. They seem to be having fun with each other and just when the plot starts to move forward Pia needs to take another hot bath. She tries to be "cute" with a bubble bath and pigtails, but she looks like a monchichi. Donning a dress that would resurface in The Lonely Lady, she is off to play more Keno. In the casino, a rather manish looking woman tells her that her BF wants to see her and she slips away from Desilu, not knowing that he wants her dead. Suddenly the film launches into hardcore crime drama as Pia learns the truth about her BF's plans and barely misses another sniper attack, but this time gets some poor joe's blood gets splattered all over her face. What is great about this scene, is that when the blood splatters on Pia's face it is done in SLOW FUCKING MOTION!! The blood hitting her face and her reaction. All in SLOW MOTION! Now wasn't this movie trying to be "cute" earlier? A car chase ensues around various back lot of Vegas. Did they have permits to film? It is all very on the down low looking.

And just when you didn't think the movie could go another level crazy, it does. Manish woman jumps behind the wheel of a very small car. Like a Yugo (no you go!) and proceeds to drive through the casino. Suddenly, FAKE OUT aka NEVADA HEAT has become a Herbie Goes Bananas rip off. I tell ya, I would have not seen that coming in a zillion years. Way to go FO aka NH.
We get a really good car crash into a big pool and the big wrap up happens on Lake Mead. It is a fact that Lake Mead is the largest reservoir in the United States. Now, I had no idea. Look at that! FAKE OUT aka NEVADA HEAT just made me smarter. I tell ya, I would have not seen that coming in a zillion years. Pia and Desilu are hiding out on a boat and of course, Pia needs a hot bath, but the boat doesn't have running water.....

Matt Climber, a true BadMovieArt auteur, created the lush production of Pia's earlier film BUTTERFLY. Oh, you know that movie where she plays a woman child who has sex with her dad. And it is set in the dust bowl era. Yeah, that one. Climber did it. He plays HIT MAN #2 in FO aka NH. I think he is the ugly one. I'm not sure. Telly Savalas just went right on doing what he was doing. Being a bad ass until he passed away in the early 90's. Desilu's career stalled, but he is so mega rich it doesn't matter. That leaves us with the talented and beautiful minx, Pia Zadora. She followed this classic up with the showstopper, THE LONELY LADY and went on to play her greatest role, HERSELF, in Troop Beverly Hills. She is currently a gazillionaire.

DON'T: HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP

DON'T FUCK A FISH.

I have a heavy leaning toward aquatic themed films. Ranging from The Deep to The Life Aquatic. There is something about the water and the vastness of it that draws me in. It could be I just love a guy in a hot bathing suit. I guess I am just an old salty gay dog. What I love more than aquatic themed films though is aquatic themed HORROR films. Jaws ushered in a zillion films made on or around the water and one of my favorites is HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP.


Barbara Peeters was a trail blazer in the late 70's/80's exploitation genre. She worked closely with Roger Corman and his New World production company, where she found herself co-directing jiggle worthy sex comedies and working second unit for car chase sequences. But she would earn her name with a trashy little movie about monsters from the deepest reaches of the ocean who have only one mission. Mate!

I love a good fishing village and Humanoids has one of the best. The townsfolk are at war with the Native Americans because a lab upstream is polluting the water and Seagulls are starting to only have one leg. But when a kid gets eaten by something out in the water and all the dogs in the town turn up dead, the citizens realize they are up against something more than just what their prejudices can conjure up.

Cut to a stormy beach and some fun lovin' kids. One hot and horny couple and one lovable goof of a gal. Jerry and Peggy go off to get some hot and sandy sex. They don't return. Jerry ends up with his face gone and Peggy ends up raped and beaten by a seaweed monster.

Toothy and big haired, Dr. Susan Drake thinks she might know what is going on. It seems she has been experimenting with salmon to make them bigger and faster, but the experimental school of fish escaped. Yes they have become bigger, but they have also become smarter, which doesn't seem to be a hard task when it comes to the cast of Humanoids From The Deep. And all this in the mist of the biggest thing to hit the small fishing village since last year. The annual Salmon festival!!!

At the 56 minute mark, the movie turns from toying around and goes into full throttle horror throw down. The partying villagers are all attacked in a massive onslaught of brutality and sea foam. The last thirty minutes of HFTD is so much fun and super scary too! Kids have to do their own stunts, another big haired lady has to fend off the monsters all by herself when they descend upon her house and then there is the business of Sandy a.k.a. Miss Salmon. Linda Shayne, in the biggest role of her career, launches into GIT IT GIRL mode the minute she sees the first monster! Dressed only in a black bikini, high heels, a cheap crown and a sash, she worked hard for the title of Miss Salmon and she ain't giving up the title to some yucky sea monkeys. Oh no, you wanna fuck with Miss Salmon, well you better be ready! I promise you will love head over heels in love with her.

There are so many priceless moments in the last half of the film, you will forget that it took a little while to get to this point. What about a monster attack on a merry go round? What about a woman fighting off the monsters with a baby in one arm and a knife in the other? It's good stuff. By the end, most of the cast is dead and you will never want to order a fish sandwich again.

The movie has such a herky jerky feel to it, that it seems like you are watching two separate visions of HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP. Don't worry, you aren't alone. When Peeters turned over her version of HFTD, the producers loved it, but thought it needed something extra. That something extra was boobs and more gore. So you get this weird scenes of sex and violence peppered in, mostly in the first 50 minutes, that don't seem like they belong in the movie. Problem is they are so laughable and stupid, that you don't mind them. Peeters did and tried to get her name taken off the film. I understand. Her fish looking to make babies magnum opus was suppose to be a touch more subtle, but alas, subtlety doesn't usually fill a drive-in. At least she tried and you can see her touches throughout. The scene were Sandy gets dragged across the screen with her hand trying to crawl away in the sand is an amazing shot, but then you see some guy in a green rubber suit humping her. The added in monsters look totally different from the original creatures. Then of course there is Miss Salmon. Was she in Peeters original vision or added in? Either way we win!

FACE: EYES WITHOUT A FACE

The French always it do it right. They will always go there. If you want face in American cinema you will get a whole pile of Lana Turner, Vivian Leigh and Barbara Bel Geddes. You want face in France? They will give it to you alright. They will serve up a slice of face directed by George Franju entitled, LES YEUX SANS VISAGE. Over here in the grand ole U.S of A. we called it EYES WITHOUT A FACE.



Based on the novel by Jean Redon and adapted for the screen by Pierre Boileau (author of the source material for Diabolique and Vertigo), EWAF is one creep-fest of cinema. The opening sequence, lit by only one spotlight, see the french country side zoom past us. A disgruntled looking woman pulls over her car and tosses a body wrapped in plastic out the door. It was kinda like one of those, "oh...this is where we are going with this film!" and it was very welcomed.

Two police officers, investigating the murder of the girl say things like, "She was skinned" and "Rats got at her". It's all very lurid, but they don't really show any of it the gruesomeness they talk about. But there is an underlying feeling that EYES WITHOUT A FACE might just go there. We are then introduced to Doctor Genessier, played by Pierre Brasseur. He has some troubles. A lot of troubles. He is haunted by the fact that he was responsible for a car crash that left his once angelically beautiful daughter without a face. So distraught and racked with guilt, he has been experimenting with creating a new face for her. But you can't just make a face out of thin air. You gotta get them from somewhere. Hitchhikers (pretty ones) or that new girl in town (as long as she is pretty) are right up his alley. He sends his assistant, Louise, into the city to procure faces for him. This is when we get to meet Edna. A fresh face! Under the guise of apartment hunting, she is tricked into visiting the countryside where she almost immediately realizes that she has made a mis-step.

If you love watching people ascend and descend stairs in a creepy house as much as I do, then Eyes Without A Face is the movie for you. Hidden away from the rest of the world at the top of the house, is Christiane. She does everything a normal teenage age does. Lays around, broods, reads, and crank calls boys. But there is only one big difference. SHE AIN'T GOT NO FACE!
But she is gonna get one soon!


Forget Michael Myers and Ghostface Killer, Christiane's mask has got to be one of the scariest mask I have ever seen. Now, I see what Billy Friedkin and Laura Brannigan were going for in the "Self Control" video! YIKES! DOUBLE YIKES! She is a tormented soul, because she certainly does want a new face, but she always knows deep down inside that she really shouldn't expect another face from another person. But now that there is a pretty young thing in the house, she is willing to give her father another chance in some face/off face/on magic.

And then it happens. If you were wondering if the movie was going to go there, this is the moment it does. Full on take your face of surgery. It is gross and disgusting. It's done well, but done cheaply. You can't tear you EYES away from the scene, but it's not vomit inducing, because the knife bleeds onto the face, rather than the other way around. It's quite fanstacting to watch the film maker try to make the special effect of facial removal believable. A for effort and A for money well spent. For three minutes you are transfixed by the screen and just when you want to turn your eyes, you can a flaw in the special effect that brings you back to reality.


The doctor has a new face for his daughter and Edna gets to wear bandages wrapped around her head and a cute new outfit (this is SCREAMING for a Halloween costume). She, naturally, has a MAJOR freak out and bust out of the lab and runs up the endless flight of stairs and stumbles right into the arms of the person who is gonna get her face. It does not end well.


Weeks past and it's dinner time. Christiane shows up with a new face and she looks like an angel. She loves it. She isn't as brooding anymore and she is borderline in a good mood. She is all smiles and nice-nice. And like most teenage girls all she can talk about is boys. Until the screen goes dark and a montage of pictures centered around her face sliding off. You know it can't be good. And we finally get confirmation that this isn't the first time it has happened. Is She is the puppeteer with the strings attached to her guilt ridden father, which she plays effortlessly? Does she demand another face? All questions with no easy answers. So once again, the hunt for a new face begins. But this time the police are on the case and have a decoy face named Paulette, who is gonna bust the whole scene wide open.

The last ten minutes are full on fingernail chewing material. Paulette awakens with an oval shape drawn with a marker around her face and realizes has gotten in over her head. The doctor has his scalpel ready and Christiane must make a decision that will alter her life forever. And the dogs that the doctor has been experimenting on finally get themselves some revenge, CUJO style. The finale shot is so majestic and haunting, that it doesn't even seem like it could have been storyboarded. It is pure magic.

Causing much controversy at the time of it's release in 1960 for the face grafting scene, audiences lined up to see it in France, but reputedly kept passing out. Which is ALWAYS a good way to sell a movie. In America, it got edited (no face/off) and dubbed and retitled "The Horror Chamber of Dr. Faustus". It was billed with the MUST SEE film "The Manster". Luckily, fans of The Manster, they got to see at least some sort of cut of this masterpiece in the theater.

Shockingly restrained and elegantly gruesome at the same time, EYES WITHOUT A FACE proves that you don't need a face to give good face.