Friday, November 30, 2012

High Drama: THAT WAS THEN....THIS IS NOW

THAT WAS THEN....THIS IS NOW is not a good movie. It is horribly flawed, but any time Craig Sheffer plays a teen at the ripe age of 25, BadMovieArt comes a callin'. The most important aspect of THAT WAS THEN....THIS IS NOW is Craig's hair.
Lessons learned from THAT WAS THEN....THIS IS NOW. 1. Always watch Emilio Estevez movies. 2. If someone from your past is giving you shit about something you did, you turn to them and say, "Hey asshole, THAT WAS THEN, DOT, DOT, DOT,THIS IS NOW!"

Sunday, September 23, 2012

New Classics: MAID TO ORDER

MAID TO ORDER by itself has a lot of problems. Two if them NOT being Michael Ontkean (in super later 80's hunk-dome) and the BadMovieArt staple that is Tom Skerritt. One never goes wrong with a Tom Skerritt film. It's a fact. Look it up. The weight of MAID TO ORDER falls on the bedazzled shoulders of Ally Sheedy and for the fact that she looks like she got electrocuted by Number 5, she pretty much pulls her end of the deal. Short and sweet, MAID TO ORDER never realizes its full potential and waste a good chunk of time giving the screen to the rich couple Sheedy is forced to work for. It is kinda like a DOWN AND OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS-esque satire, but not nearly as interesting. Beverly D'Angelo is on hand as the fairy Godmother who just wants to smoke and look good. Understandable. So, what you have on your hands is a charming, brisk and very likable rom-com with an almost butt shot of Michael Ontkean. The TRUE travesty of life is when you get MAID TO ORDER on dvd and you pop it in. I love that it just starts up! No need for a nice menu selection with special features and such. It can't be bothered. If you hit stop, you are treated to what I think is one of the worst DVD menus ever, besides HELLO AGAIN of course.
But enough of that. The true crime committed by the MAID TO ORDER dvd is the cropping of the film. At first, I screamed and pumped my fist in the air. How dare they? Then I started to enjoy the butcher from HOSTEL style cropping. Deena Jones, knows I love a good beheading and MAID TO ORDER was just that for beheading in film enthusiast such as myself. Photos are taken directly from my TV and have been formatted to show all the good cropping in its glory. ALLY SHEEDY AND BEVERLY D'ANGELO DISCUSS NEW BEGINNINGS.
TEDDY WILSON AND HIS CAR.
VALERIE PERRINE AND DICK SHAWN GO DOWN AND OUT.
TOM SKERRITT ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD IN A TUX EVEN WITHOUT A HEAD.
DING! DONG! YOUR DREAMDATE MICHAEL ONTKEAN IS HERE.
I couldn't in good faith, write about Michael Ontkean and not post a photo with a head. You can thank me later.