Sunday, October 3, 2010

DON'T: Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan


Gather 'round and I will tell you the story of how Jason decided that if he can slaughter people in the Big Apple, he can slaughter people everywhere! The bright lights of Times Square are calling his name. Lady Liberty reaches her arms out to him. Welcome to New York!! But all in time.

Just to bring us all to same reference point, just a touch of horror history. In Part Six: Jason Lives, Tommy tied an anchor around Jason and sunk his ass in Crystal Lake. Then in Part Seven: The New Blood, Tina sees her father drown in Crystal Lake as a child. She returns to the watery grave, but this time armed with psychic powers. Her goal is to raise her father out of the lake, but instead she gets Jason!!! SHIT!! But then at the end, Tina is fighting Jason on a pier and her dad busted out of the water and grabs Jason and drags him back to the bottom of the lake.

We finally arrive at present day. The seniors from Crystal Lake High (not the real school, but it should have been called that) are all boarding a huge yacht to take a senior trip to NYC. I'm not sure how the lake connects, but those CLH students are smart. The kids all get their two seconds of character development. There is the Jock, who can box (CLUE!), the son of the ship's captain (CLUE!) and a girl who is trying to film a music video in the ship's basement (NO CLUE!).

But what! There is one more passenger! Rennie!! Played by the beautiful Jensen Daggett, this is one character you are going to fall in love with. Her mom/aunt/legal guardian gives her a pen that was supposedly used by Stephen King! WOW!! Rennie looks mildly happy about it. What is her problem? But Rennie has other things on her mind. Like how she has been battling her fear of water since she was a little girl, but was about to take her first boat ride in ages to try and face her demon. She is stressed.

There is a handful of other students. A surfer, a bitch and a indie filmmaker. But you can really only tell that by what they are wearing. Rocker girl goes first, but at least she goes rockin' out! HELLZ BELLZ!! But the first BIG kill in the death of the yacht's captain. That means his son has to take over. "Let's sink this bitch!" Within twenty to thirty minutes, the entire senior class, sponsoring teachers and other ship personal have been reduced to five and a dog!


More than an hour into the film, the survivors of the CLH senior trip massacre land their row boats into the docks of late eighties NYC. Naturally, it is the middle of the night and the place is crawling with robbers, rapist, drug abusers and streetwalkers. The CLH team immediately get mugged and they run in all sorts of directions, which makes it easier to kill off.
The Jock has fist fight with Jason and loses BIG TIME!! Rennie gets everyone into a car to escape, but seizes the moment to run Jason down in a back alley. She totals the car and everyone is fine except for the lady teacher who remained in the car, cuz it blows up! OOPS!! Rennie!!

They run some more. The dog is gone. He is like, "see ya suckas!" Then we get to see Rennie and the captain's son finally arrive in Times Square!! YAHOO!! We made it. Now, we only have ten minutes to spare, so we are going to go gaga over NYC right?!
Nope. Jason also arrives in Times Square (best part of the movie), but Renni spots him and ushers her potential new boyfriend down in to the sewers. So we are yanked off the streets of New York and down into its underbelly. And you know what happens when people go down into the sewers? Rats! And a big flood of "clean sewer" water! And we get them both. But this time the "clean sewer" water has been replaced with toxic waste!!! The kids scramble to safety as Jason, now mask less, STILL tries to kill them. He never gives up. Jason gets hit with a wave of toxic waste and miraculous becomes a little boy. Just a little boy who drowned in the lake all those years ago. Yeah, it doesn't make much sense.

Renni and now her new boyfriend climb out of the sewer and just as the end credits roll, the dog comes running back!! YAHOO! With this installment everything in the Friday the 13Th universe changed. Paramount dumped the franchise and it found a place at New Line Cinema, but by then it seemed too late. The first 8 will always be considered the true films. Well minus part 5.

Elizabeth Berkley auditioned for the role. And most of the movie was filmed in Vancouver, B.C.

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