Friday, June 11, 2010

New Classics: Over The Top

Sly Stallone managed to do it. Snatch an oscar, become an A list celeb and became a globally known mega-movie star. Not an easy task. Considering he started out flashing his dick around in ITALIAN STALLION. Stallone was known for his hardhitting action films. Films dipped into some sort of Fry Daddy of testosterone and they came out like a glorious breaded stick of cheese. Super good to watch, but you always feel a little sick after. Guns, glory and more guns were his usual arsenal of acting.
Then he turned on us in 1987. He went OVER THE TOP.

Sly appears on the screen driving a big mac truck to some great lite adult contempo music and the credits roll by in their BEACHES font. I immediately thought, "Uh, is this movie suppose to be HEARTWARMING?" To quote Georgia from GEORGIA, "OH GOD..."
There was a point when Sly was kinda hot. Late eighties before he decided to fuck up his face. Why he chose to get a new face is beyond me. It's called growing old gracefully. That isn't the point, because he is smoking hot in OVER THE TOP. My first favorite scene is when he jumps out his DUEL truck and we realized that Sly is a shorty! I swear, we have been fooled all this time! I always thought he was a towering hunk of action heroism, but he is just a lil' stinker! I love a good lil' stinker!

Sly bust up some graduation and snatches himself a Go-Go. I mean his son. This kid looks like Belinda and Jane mixed together. He is smart and sassy and cries throughout most of the movie. I thought the kid was going to be like Tatum O' Neal in PAPER MOON, where she was in on the act and helps her dad,but discovered that he was just a shitbox. Oh no. Not in OVER THE TOP. They did get the Tatum look-a-like down though. It turns out that mom is dying and she wants her son to spend some quality time with her/his dad. Which means lots of trucking around and arm wrestling! Not Sly, but the kid. She..he learns lots of life lessons while driving the DUEL truck and arm wrestling townies on pinball machines. Oh and he CRIES A LOT. Did I mention that? This Go-Go has some water works! They load up in the DUEL truck which is carrying a truck full of Brut (proud sponsor of OVER THE TOP) and hit the road to California.
Mom (Susan Blakely in a thankless role) reports STRAIGHT FROM THE HOSPITAL. Everytime they show her, she is one step closer to death. I swear all of her scenes are one takes. Like they called her in for a days worth of work. This bitch is gonna die on us at any given moment. But she waits until Sly and his Go-Go show up to see her and croaks. More tears. And we are only 38 minutes in the MOVIE!!! CHEERS!!!

So it back into the Duel truck to head to Vegas to try to win the arm wrestling championship of the world! But before this we have to watch a Sly and his Go-Go bond through a montage of driving around the nation and their dialogue cut and inserted into the scene is Kenny Loggins "Meet Me Halfway" song, which i sorta love a ton, so I was fine with that. We get to watch the Go-Go's stunt double drive the truck and we get to see Sly sharpen his acting chops that he seemed to have learned from the Tommy Wiseau school of method acting.

Am I the only one that thinks this is a propaganda film for NAMBLA. I mean there are tons upon tons of scenes that are cringe worthy. The Go-Go gets felt up by Sly the entire movie and there is something super prevy about how Sly and Robert Loggia battle for the Go-Go's affection. And the Go-Go's outfits....shorty shorts..."OH GOD..." And this movie is SWEATY!!! Everyone is sweating. There is more sweat in this movie than three Tennessee Williams' plays.

But in the end, all is set right and the Go-Go does some pre-9/11 air traveling and is able to make to Vegas to see his sweaty dad don some suspenders and a NEW YORK shirt and grunt and grind to save not only the future of he and his go-go, but his self respect and diginity.

So what do we learn from OVER THE TOP. That you should always buy the soundtrack if Frank Stallone is one it. That better living is achieved through arm wrestling and if you are going to show the agony of defeat, why not do it in slo-mo? Also the thought of all these truckers driving around with one really gross large arm makes me kinda vomit.

OVER THE TOP went on to bomb at the box office,but it didn't stop Sly. He continued working and working and working...but he never made another arm wrestling movie. Go-Go boy went on to have success in voice over work, but he did give us some of the best gay face in OVER THE TOP. The interesting thing about him is that he is actually really good in the movie, just horribly mis-cast.

OVER THE TOP is a must see and the grand finale gave me a great idea for a halloween costume.

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