Tuesday, July 20, 2010

70's Cinema:THE BLACK HOLE

I will watch anything with Anthony Perkins in it. I think he is (was!) super duper dreamy. I would totally go on a date with Norman Bates, no questions asked. So, when i finally got around to THE BLACK HOLE, I was happy that at least Tony Perkins was in it.

Disney decided it was high time to break into the PG realm of movies and toyed around with producing movies without using their brand to sell it. Smart? For their first feature they basically stole a bunch of ideas from STAR TREK and STAR WARS. What is suppose to be a mindbending journey into the unknown turns into a mindless and soul crushing journey into tepidness.

Basically, a star trek sorta crew goes flying around outer space in search of stuff and they end up getting sucked into a black hole. Their they find another space ship that got sucked into the black hole years ago. They are intent on rescuing the ship, but here's the kicker! The captain likes living in the black hole and doesn't want to leave. He has been removed from society for so long that all his social skills are out the window and he is a gruff old salty space dog.

Even though Disney wanted to branch out, they just couldn't help tossing in a lovable disney character that they could market! And sorry to dissappoint you, but it ain't a Tony Perkins action figure, but if one exist I would love to have it. It is V.I.N.C.E.N.T. (Vital Information Necessary CENTralized), what ever the fuck that means.If you ingore all the wires, he is super cute and pretty good special effect. He reminded me of Boris. If Boris was a space robot. Cute, but grumpy. And voiced by Roddy McDowall (which is Boris in person form), you just can't go wrong.....

Four screenplay writers later and this movie, which clocks in at over 2 hours, just seems to muddle through. It is not really concerned with action sequences or riveting dialogue. They just toss in some high tech stuff and some special effects and there you go. It's over and you are kinda glad.

The opening credits are all sorts of awesome and gets you all excited to watch a movie called THE BLACK HOLE that isn't a porno. But like most pornos, you get sucked in for a time then you realize you just wasted a good chunk of time of your life.

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