Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Extra! Extra! I'm in love....with Barbra Streisand. But only 70's Babs. I like when she left all that Broadway junk behind and became an even more successful pop and movie star. But this time she permed her hair and wore shorty shorts! Fucking Jon Peters will do that. She snatched herself an Oscar! She made a string of great movies in the 70's. A Star Is Born! BRILLIANT! The Way We Were! ROMANTIC! What's Up Doc?! FUNNY! The Main Event! The Main Event? UGH.

Babs and Ryan O' Neal try to dust off some of that movie magic that they created in Doc? to make this Glove Story. Get it? SEE! FUNNY!

The nose knows. Smelling is the name of the game when it comes to creating a new perfume and Babs has the sniffer for it. About 200 nose jokes later (and in the first 30 minutes) we get it. We understand Babs. You are cool with your nose. Suddenly, Babs and her sniffer are bankrupt and she discovers that she owns a boxer's contract and sets out to make some money off of him. "I own a person?" SEE! FUNNY!

Enter Ryan O'Neal. Pretty hot, pretty boring and all sorts of crazy. So blah...blah...blah...Babs, for some reason, becomes the most annoying person in a movie ever and is determined to make her meek boxer into a lean, mean fighting machine. The chemistry is so off in this movie between them. They seem like they were two people who were able to make a great movie and find a good balance within each other, who then got super mega rich and then decided that the public would LOVE to see them in another movie together, but totally hated each others guts by now. And it isn't that sexy "I HATE YOUR GUTS" vibe. It is full on I just hate your guts.

Ryan wins some fights and gets a chance to go to the big time and fingers crossed he will be able to use the money from the fight to either A. pay off the debt he owns for his driving school or B. hire a professional hit man to murder Babs. I lean toward B myself.

So basically nothing happens for a really long time and then at the end, they fall in love. So sweet. And boring as shit. I am a die hard Babs fan and this movie is hard on my soul. I was actually surprised I was able to finish it. I had tried before, but never got past the 30 minute mark. Ryan O'Neal does look great in his flashy boxing trunks that Babs picked out for him and one of the TWO writers wrote the screenplay for WHO'S THAT GIRL?. It also has one of my all time favorite Babs songs "The Main Event", but it only plays over the credits which i always think is a bunch of bullshit. Unpleasant is almost too nice of a word for this film. I think UGH describes it very well.

OH YEAH! The Main Event was one of those awesome HUGE ASS Vhs clamshell boxes from Warner Brothers back in the day. Man, I fucking love those!

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