Thursday, July 29, 2010


Legends are not created. Legends are born through personal tragedy and triumph. Trials by fire. Going to the darkest places of your soul and returning, stronger and with a kick ass hair cut is what becoming a legend is all about. There is one legend in the folklore of gays and girls. And that is The Legend Of Billie Jean.

Helen Slater deserves an award for all that she has brought to the BADMOVIEART table. She kicked started it all with the ill-fated (and quite stunning if you ask me) epic film SUPERGIRL. Then followed it up with Billie Jean. Alright, sister, you won me over. Helen's career turned toward working actor cred, but the joy that she has brought to millions is payback I am sure.

Billie Jean starts off innocently enough. Trashy siblings run up against some shitty townie trash when the son of a shitty townie trash decides that his bike isn't cool enough and steals Billie Jean's brothers bike and totals it. Total douche-bag. Billie Jean immediately stomps over to the father and demands payment for the bike. Nothing more. Nothing less. Because fair is fair you know. Christian Slater plays the younger brother and he is a ticking time bomb. Billie Jean has him under wraps, but not for too long and suddenly they find themselves on the run from just about everyone.

Trying to figure out their next move, Billie Jean, in one of the most shocking displays of rebellion and heroism, chops off her beautiful, long blond hair! A moment so shocking that when first viewed with my sisters and her friends, some of the girls cried. Giving up all that hair is a sacrifice in every since of the word! Cheers STILL ring out whenever it is viewed.

Then we get to my favorite part of the movie. Billie Jean and her motley crew, including Yearly Smith aka Lisa Simpson, bust into Lloyd's mansion. Now, let's discuss Lloyd, played by Keith Gordon. Can we say HUNK! Man, oh man, I had the hots for him. CHRISTINE, BACK TO SCHOOL (in a speedo!) and DRESSED TO KILL! He was one of my first major crushes and whenever I watch Legend Of Billie Jean, I swoon! SWOON I tell ya!

Billie Jean and Lloyd are deeply attracted to each other, but alas, the cops catch wind of them and they are on the run again. It all ends in a big finale with Billie Jean becoming a modest urban legend and one KICK ASS finale, that has to be seen to be believed. All set to the amazing song "Invincible" by Pat Benatar that was a staple of roller skating rinks across the nation! As a side note, last year I went to see Pat Benatar in concert and it was quite amazing, but when she got to "Invincible" she remarked that it was "the song" from a really bad movie and people BOOED!!! Including me! Don't shit on Legend of Billie Jean, sister! We will turn on your ass! Then she nailed it and all was right in the world.

Speaking of the soundtrack, one of my all time favorite songs "All the boys in town" by the Divinyls that opens the film ALWAYS gets overshadowed by Pat!

Two writers, both men, keep sharing screenplay credits and it ranges from shit like MONA LISA SMILES to awesome shit like SUPERMAN 4: QUEST FOR PEACE, but nothing will ever compare to their work on Billie Jean. It died a quick and painful death like many legends do, but it lived on through cable tv and TBS and USA UP ALL NIGHT. Now if someone could just release on dvd, I would be so pleased. My KEY VIDEO is starting to die, but you just keep on watching it, cuz when it comes to Billie Jean, legends never ever die.

1 comment:

  1. This is a classic. The Benatar song is really catchy too. "We will be....INVINCIBLE!!!"